Asking For Help Is Hard

"Yes, I know I need to ask for help - but I don't think you realize how hard it is to do"

I've heard so often the disbelief and exasperation in their voices, 'why didn't they just ask for help?' 

When someone hits a monumental breaking point in their life, a full on crash and burn situation, so many jump to questioning that person's actions (or lack thereof) as though asking for help should have clearly been the most obvious solution. Part of me doesn't blame you… for not understanding or for believing that ‘asking’ is a simple equation.

Ask and you shall receive, right? 

For the ones who have had to endure the painful realization that the above doesn't always ring true, I'm sorry. 

For everyone who has ever felt you don't have people you can rely on for help or that those people just aren't available when you need them. For anyone who has had it used against you or thrown in your face. For the individuals who have fought against every fiber of their being that says 'don't bother' but still did, only to have no one show up. For the people who feel like they don't deserve the help or that you aren't worthy of it. For those who have felt weak or worthless for asking. For anyone who is so used to doing it on your own that you're not sure you know any other way. For the person who feels like they are burdening or bothering someone for even asking. For those who have felt the collective weight of society's 'pick yourself up by the bootstraps' mentality. And for everyone that has been met with judgment or rejection. 

I am sorry. I am so very sorry that we as humans sometimes fail to fathom the undertaking that is asking for help. 

The unfortunate reality is that a vast majority of people have never learned how to ‘ask for help’ or even how to receive it when it is offered. We are so conditioned to figure out a way to do it ourselves no matter the cost.

So the next time we think, "why did they not ask for help", maybe we should consider asking ourselves, 'what made them feel as though they couldn't…’’

Please know that the therapists at The Mynd Clinic are ready and willing to help in several different capacities. Just start with setting your first appointment.